Sunday, June 15, 2008

Dryness and Peace-Seeking

It didn't rain today. I mean, not at all. It surprised me. I even got to see the sun!

I have been trying to have a spiritual moment, take a day out of the ordinary, but it didn't really happen as I would've like it to be. There were a lot of errands that I couldn't do yesterday that stood in the way.

I went to Nirvana Park, in Hirandani, and tried to meditate. With the kids and the people walking around, it was less than ideal. And, somehow, sleepyness assaulted me.

So, of this great day, I went to church, prayed some, read my Bible some, worked on a class for HOPE, worked on a message, yet, I'm feeling as if I've wasted it.
There is one hour and a half yet to it, so its not over, and God will make each one of them worth it.
What is the big deal anyway? I need to come to a decision about my future. Shall I stay in India or go back to the most beautiful place in the world (namely, Quebec)?
I looked at it from every perspective, and it looks like staying here would be good for me. But I have old fears tagging along.
What about my health? All that garbage in the street surely won't help me be healthy.
What about happiness? I need deep relationships to feel well, will those happen? Will I have the life balance that I need? Read books, cook some food worth eating? Learn something new? Laugh, dance, watch a game, watch a play, watch a movie with people who matter to me?
What about money? Will I end up super broke because of this decision? I'm paid in Rupees after all!
I feel there is a good likelihood of this to be OK, if not great. But I'd like to have no doubt left in me.

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