Monday, May 22, 2006

Don't Mess With the Swiss

I saw a video of the Swiss Air Force and I remembered some things about their military that I saw when I was there.

First of all:

I need to figure out the legality aspect. Google Video invites people to just upload their home-made videos and it looks like anyone picks a song and some images and upload it... Something tells me that this must be a good spot for the RIAA to start suing.
Anyway, here are a few reasons why invading Switzerland is a bad idea
1) mandatory military service for men. It can be escaped, but a fair amount of people go for it anyway. This results in a large amount of civilians with assault rifles and military handguns in their homes (with a buddy, we did a conservative estimate that about 1 million people in the country did their service. Lets just assume half still are in service. That's about 500 000 assault rifles currently dispersed in the territory, not counting stockpiles in case of crisis) They train for 3 weeks every year and have mandatory test at a shooting range each year.
(The CIA estimates more than 1.7 million eligible males, but having about 1/3 opting out is not irrealistic). If you thought Fallujah was bad, just wait for the mountain fights in Appenzell :)
2) their jet fighter pilots are so good that they can land on highways and streets and refuel at gas stations... in joint exercises, other air forces refused to join in this exercise
3) they have underground forts all over the places. Just stay clear of the mountains
4) they can mobilize the rail system and deliver troops anywhere in their territory within a day
5) everyone they make business with will want to kill you (and that's a loooooooooooooooooot of people)
6) their greatest natural resources are essentially electric power and ski resorts. Its a knowledge and trading economy that doesn't use the euro. Result of a conquest: a lot of useless currency.
Now, I guess I need to write an article titled "Please Mess with the Canadians", but I don't think it is needed - the US government is already quite good at it. ;)

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